Okay, so the other day I was feeling super stuck. You know those times when you’re just clinging onto everything – your job, your routine, your stuff – and it all feels so… precarious? Like one wrong move and it’ll all fall apart? That was me. So, I pulled out my tarot deck, because, why not? And I asked for some advice on how to deal with this feeling.
The card I drew? Four of Pentacles. I’ve always kind of dreaded this card, to be honest. It’s the dude holding onto his coins for dear life, right? It screams “scarcity” and “fear of loss” to me. Not exactly uplifting.
But, I decided to really dig into it. I mean, I asked for advice, and this is what I got, so there had to be something useful there. I started by just looking at the card. Really observing it. I spent quite a long time.
- I saw: The guy is sitting down, looking pretty rigid.
- I saw: He’s got one pentacle balanced on his head, two under his feet, and he’s clutching the fourth one to his chest.
- I saw: He’s in a town, but looks completely separated from it.
Then i thought, I am just clinging to every single resources.
Then it hit me: Maybe the advice wasn’t just “stop being so greedy!” Maybe it was about understanding why I was holding on so tight. What was I so afraid of losing? What was I actually protecting?
My Little Experiment Begins
So, I decided to do a little experiment. For one whole day, I would try to embody the Four of Pentacles, but in a conscious way. I would notice every time I felt that urge to control, to hold on, to protect. And I would ask myself: “What’s the fear here?”
It was… interesting, to say the least. I noticed it everywhere:
- I was reluctant to spend money on a coffee, even though I had plenty in my account. The fear? “What if I need that money later?”
- I found myself checking my work email obsessively, even after hours. The fear? “What if I miss something important?”
- I even hesitated to share some of my homemade cookies with my neighbor. The fear? “What if I don’t have enough for myself?” (Seriously, brain?)
By the end of the day, I was exhausted! But, I also had a much clearer picture of my anxieties. It wasn’t really about the coffee, or the emails, or the cookies. It was about a deeper fear of not being enough, of not having enough, of not being *’s so funy, I have to recognize it.
The Four of Pentacles, I realized, wasn’t telling me to stop caring about my resources. It was telling me to examine my relationship with them. To loosen my grip a little. To trust that I could handle whatever came my way, even if I didn’t have every single penny (or cookie) accounted for.
I’m still working on it, of course. It’s not like one day of mindful hoarding magically cured my anxieties. But I’m more aware now. And when I feel that Four of Pentacles energy creeping in, I try to remember the lesson: Breathe. Observe. Question the fear. And maybe, just maybe, share a cookie or two.
